Curiosonari

This week I’ve had to do one of the hardest things. Go back to work. Which means I’ve had to put Emma in daycare. I’d been dreading the day for sometime, but then the weekend before I went into serious mourning. I just couldn’t imagine being away from my precious angel. I love being with her! I love listening to her talk especially. It never fails that when I’m on the phone with my mother, Emma has so much to say as well!!

Before Emma was born, Puchchu and I had enrolled her in a school that accepts infants. We thought this was a great opportunity for her to learn and be around other kids. She would have been in a class of 12-18 babies. But what did I know? It wasn’t until Emma was born that I really understood what she needed. A safe, secure environment with plenty of love. That clearly wasn’t this school. I suddenly had nightmares of her crying and nobody doing anything about it till it was “her turn”. My neighbor recommended I use Child Links and thankfully I found someone on their approved list. She is a wonderful older woman who loves babies. And Emma really likes her as well! Nanci was so excited about caring for Emma that she went out and bought some new toys for her. So I feel really good knowing that Emma is in wonderful hands.

And yet at the end of her first day, I was terrified that she was in *such* good care. When I picked up Emma, I had no smiles. She would barely look at me! But she smiled for Nanci. When I got Emma home, she barely acknowledged my existance but had all sorts of smiles for her dad. I was heartbroken! How could it be that in less than 5 hours I went from her mom and playmate to nothing?! I couldn’t sleep that night and racked my brain trying to figure out how I could not work so that no one could take my Emma away from me.

Now that it’s day 2, I think she was just unsure about what was going on. The next morning when I took her, she watched me like a hawk. I have to admit, I felt so much better! And then I felt on top of the world when I picked her up because I finally got my smiles. Not only a smile, but a laugh and then she told me about her day.

I love my Emma.

- Shannon

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 30th, 2007 at 6:26 am and is filed under Mother's Corner. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.